Answer #1 – I am corrupt

As soon as I turned away, I grabbed Piper’s book When I don’t desire God – how to fight for joy. I’ve read parts of it before, and I can’t stay up any later tonight reading more of it or the Bible. But the couple sentences I just read answered part of my questions.

Related to the question of how do I get a God-sized view of God that sustains joy in Him is the question, why don’t I already view God that way? God is infinitely beautiful and perfect and holy and worthy. I know that, but why don’t I know that? Answer? Because I am corrupt.

Delighting in God is a command (Ps. 37:4). I don’t do it enough because I don’t see his worth clearly enough. And I don’t see his worth because I am corrupt, blind. The part I see clearly is a gift from Him, grace to me. Only He can help me see more clearly, and only seeing more clearly will result in me delighting in Him in that way that sustains me, glorifies Him, and brings others into the knowledge of His greatness.

Alas, I begin anew

I want to start journaling more (again), and I might as well post my thoughts here. Hopefully, it’ll become a new part of my devotional routine.

My intention is to use writing as a way of mediating on God and His Word. I’ve taught a couple times recently at our young adults group at church, largely inspired by materials written by John Piper. The way he thinks about and writes about God sets my soul on fire with a different kind of passion. He is, in many ways, my C.S. Lewis. My hope is mediating on God’s great worth will help me better understand his value, bring him more glory, and bring more people into the enjoyment of knowing Him for who he really is.

I’m reading Piper’s Taste and See devotional these days. Today, the entry is about how Puritans, in contrast to evangelicals, put great importance on communing with God. Evangelicals discuss the work we are doing for God; Puritans discuss how they spend time with Him and how good he truly is. I never want to stop doing the work of a Martha, but I do want to become more like Mary, dwelling on the goodness of God instead of just doing work for Him.

I have ideas of things I want to teach at our young adult meetings, but the real message is beyond me because I don’t spend enough time really studying and mediating on God’s goodness. I don’t just want to teach a good lesson; I want to live a life that demonstrates what it means to enjoy God and bring Him glory in everything. God is good, and I want that to be the clear testimony of life, in word and deed, day in and day out. I want to have a reputation as someone who is… I don’t know what to call it. I want my heart to be completed captured by a love for God, and I want it to be apparent to everyone that he is my Source, my Light, My Joy. I want the message of God’s Supremacy to resound in my life like in does in Piper’s words. And, I want it not for myself, but so others will see God’s great worth – bringing Him glory and them great joy.

But how? How does that become the reality of my life? That’s the lesson I want to teach at church and in life. I’ve done having a passion for God’s glory and enjoying God lately, but they were messages focused on showing why it’s essential to have passion for God and to enjoy Him. But I can’t tell people how to become so caught up with amazement concerning God that they can’t help but display passion and joy in Him, because I haven’t found that all-encompassing joy in knowing Him yet either.

And yet, I know it begins with the inspiration from God to want to know him more. I’ve gotten a taste of how good He is, and I want more. I can give that to others. I know more comes from studying, meditating, and praying. I can engage in those actions more so my love of and understanding of God increases, and then I’ll have more to give others for His glory.

I’m loosely planning on teaching about “Fighting for a God-sized view of God” soon. I need to just write out my thoughts on that subject here, searching the Bible and meditating on what I find. Forget about teaching others – how do I get a God-sized view of God?